Advent

4 Ways to a Happy ‘Merry Christmas’

13 Dec 2018

I looked at my calendar for December and instantly felt overwhelmed. When I opened my budget spreadsheet and the projected costs of birthdays, anniversaries, as well as Christmas, I was done. I could feel the dread settle in the pit of my tummy and could foresee all the eye rolling at my boring rants about consumerism and the real meaning of Christmas.

Is there a way I can skip Christmas all together?

As a Minimalist, I enjoy getting rid of the excess, and receiving or giving gifts is not my strongest love language. But in order to brave Christmas, I need to put on my big girl pants and just deal.

 

The ‘Merry Christmas’ Pressure

Being overwhelmed with too much to do. The frustration of seeing money leaving my bank account as soon as it lands. The many friendships and relationships I’ve neglected, and most importantly, the feeling that something is just not right. The funny thing is…. while my calendar is full to the brim, my mental state is a little off.

It’s easy to be busy and distracted and I would argue that some of us create busyness to fill some voids in our lives, but the constant state of ‘busy’ doesn’t really make us happy, does it?

So what makes us truly happy?

Psychologists say that… “Beyond inherited tendencies, the things that appear to matter most in generating happiness are close social ties (including friends and a satisfying marriage or partnership), religious faith and having the resources necessary to allow progress towards one’s goals.” *  

 

The ‘Merry Christmas’ Distractions

If the psychological explanation is true, then it’s easy to make things right again so that I no longer feel a little off. For me, generating more happiness would be satisfying relationships with my loved ones, spending time in prayer, and not necessarily kicking goals, but having full access to the ball and the goal post.

The thing is, we all have access to these. It’s just a matter of paying more attention to them and avoiding filling our lives with distractions.

For example, I can go out for coffee and spend time catching up with every single one of my girlfriends over the next month, but neglect the relationship I have at home with my husband (parents, children, siblings etc). I can spend all my time in Ministry organising retreats, events and talking to people about Jesus, but neglect daily Mass and devotion to Mary. I can sit and wish that I could get a High Distinction in an exam but neglect to use the resources, forums and help from Uni. All hypothetical situations, but very real examples of how happiness is right in front of you, but we get distracted.

 

True Merriment

What’s even more interesting is, if you really pay attention, you’ll notice that Jesus is in all three of these ways of generating happiness: Relationships, Religion and the desire to do something great with our lives.

Saint Pope John Paul II says:

“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness

He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; 

He is the beauty to which you are so attracted

it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; 

it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life

it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. 

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives,

the will to follow an ideal,

the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity,

the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society,

making the world more human and more fraternal.”

― Pope John Paul II

If St Pope JPII is right and Jesus is the source of our happiness, then we need to let go of distractions and give ourselves a chance to prepare for Advent.

 

The 4 Steps to Advent Challenge

Advent started on December 2 and it is the 4 weeks before Christmas where we reflect on, hopeful longing, joyful expectation, prayerful penance, and spiritual preparation.

Often we neglect this period of prayer, penance and fasting because we are so busy shopping, attending Christmas parties, organising annual leave etc. There’s no doubt that we might struggle to get a quick ‘Our Father’ into our day because of all this busyness.

So I propose a challenge to you. Declutter.

Instead of spending these next 2 weeks getting into the shopping or buying extra outfits for summer and parties, and filling up your calendar with social events. Stop, breathe and take inventory of what’s truly important.

Here are 4 steps to take to have a Happy ‘Merry Christmas’:

  1. Get Un-busy – Take note of the most important people in your life and insteadof that meeting, event, fundraiser or morning tea, check in to see them, sit and listen. Often we are so busy making other people in our circles happy but we neglect the most important. Our parents, grandparents, siblings, children or spouses.
  2. Practice other love languages– for now… Do something nice for your loved ones to make their lives a little easier, encourage them with some words of affirmation, or give them hugs and kisses to let them know you are present. This doesn’t take much time at all, but it will mean more to you and them than your attendance at a function.
  3. Donate, Sell or Recycle– You will no doubt have an influx of new gifts enter your life soon. So take an inventory of things just lying about and give it away to the needy, sell it for Christmas shopping money (so you don’t overspend on your credit cards this Christmas) or recycle it! Just try not to trash everything (think of the environment).
  4. Get excited about Advent – Once you’ve worked on these things, here are some fun ways to start making a big deal of Advent in your life. Advent is a great time to start some new traditions or relive some old ones.So this Advent, before Christmas comes, let’s get into position. Let’s give ourselves a fighting chance to fill our soul with love for Christ! Scripture says “Let every heart, prepare him room” because no matter how hard we try to fill our lives with busyness and nonsense, the fact remains… in Advent and in every other season of our lives, the closer we are to Jesus, the closer we are to happiness.

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*Psychology : An International Discipline in Context Douglas A. Bernstein, Julie Ann Pooley, Alison Clarke-Stewart, Bethanie Gouldthorp, Stephen Provost, Jacquelyn Cranney, Louis A. Penner, Alison Clarke-Stewart, and Edward J. Roy

Additional Notes: Here’s a helpful article on how clutter affects your brain.

Jacinta is a devoted wife and young mother of four children, who works as a parish secretary by day and blogs/studies at night. Her weaknesses are the cold, sleeping in, How I Met Your Mother and 7-eleven coffee. She also blogs at ‘A Catholic Minimalist’ – acatholicminimalist.com.

 

This feature is a part of the 2018 Advent Calendar, which is available to download for free as an app.

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