White Ribbon Day 2009

+ Cardinal George Pell, Archbishop of Sydney
22 Nov 2009

Some are born with a quick temper, others with a longer fuse, and yet another group are regularly placid.  Self control induces us to channel our indignation productively and learn from our mistakes.  Forgiveness, especially early on, prevents the build up of hate.

No one is morally better under the influence of alcohol and drugs and the worst domestic violence is regularly committed under their influence.

Committing violence against someone we should love and protect is particularly horrifying and baffling, especially violence against children.  Violence committed by one spouse or partner against the other is also disgraceful, whatever the excuse offered and whatever the provocation.

Men have no monopoly on violence, and there are men and children who suffer violence from the women they live with.  However most domestic violence is committed by men against women and about 60 per cent of this is from partners or ex-partners.

One estimate in 2004 put the annual cost of domestic violence at $8.1 billion, once the costs to the victims, others affected by the violence, and the community were totalled up.  A VicHealth study from the same year claimed that domestic violence contributed more to poor health, disability and death for women under 45 than any other risk factor, including obesity and smoking.

Tuesday is White Ribbon Day, or the United Nations International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.  The United Nations is not perfect and some of its initiatives leave much to be desired, but I have been proud to be a White Ribbon Ambassador since 2005.   Domestic violence is always unacceptable, whether it is men or women who suffer.  Controlling violence in society is hard work, and if we allow ourselves to get used to violence generally, it becomes harder to maintain the veto, the taboo against violence towards women in an age of alleged sexual equality.

This year's White Ribbon campaign is encouraging men to take an oath never to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.  It is a bit like the Pledge which Catholics once made never to drink alcohol.  The Pledge undoubtedly contributed to reducing drunken violence, which was also one reason for taking it.

Regular forgiveness is needed in every family.  But it is surprising the difference that a strong personal commitment to avoid evil and do good can make, both to ourselves and to those who see how we live.  It is something to ponder.