Marriage Sunday
St Mary's Cathedral, Sydney
Gen 2:1824; Heb 2:9-11; Mk 10:2-16
+ Cardinal George Pell, Archbishop of Sydney
8 Oct 2006
We should begin by congratulating in particular all those who are celebrating significant wedding anniversaries this year after marriage here in St. Mary’s Cathedral.
We thank God for the blessings you have received in your marriage and family life, for your successful struggles against difficulty (which is always present in some form at some time) and for the Catholic faith which has sustained and permeated your daily life.
More than fifty years ago I remember the visiting American preacher Fr. Peyton telling us that the family who prays together stays together and statistics show that Christians who practise their faith do have a greater chance of long lasting and successful marriages.
The first reading today is from the first book of the Old Testament, Genesis and recounts one part of the Adam and Eve story, the Bible’s poetic and non-scientific account of God’s creation of the world and of the special role of man and woman as the respectful lords of creation. They are described as naming the birds and animals, because in the Judaeo-Christian understanding of nature, humans are not just one more animal species, but have a unique and superior dignity, being made in the likeness of God and destined for eternal life.
Our first instinct might be to regret the chauvinism, the implicit claim to male superiority in the account of Eve’s creation from Adam’s rib. In the context of those ancient times however, when wives were listed among their husband’s possessions with the children and the cattle, this account was a basic affirmation of equal dignity for women. She, after all, is bone from Adam’s bones and flesh from his flesh.
Together with her husband, she leaves her parents and they become one body.
God’s grace builds on nature. In other words the Holy Spirit usually works through who we are, using our strengths and helping us cope with our difficulties.
While I suspect that I have already used the following story in my sermons, it bears repetition and I hope a good number have not heard it already.
Lady Longford was one of the best known Catholic women in English public life in the second half of the twentieth century. She brought up a large family, married to an eccentric aristocrat with a heart of gold.
A most impractical man, he was briefly a Cabinet minister and did marvelous work in prison reform, also writing a small good book on humility and then three volumes of autobiography!
On one occasion a nosey reporter asked Lady Longford whether she had ever thought of divorce. “Never” she replied without hesitation as a good Catholic should, “but I often contemplated murder”.
By any set of criteria she had a good marriage, sustained by genuine love, compassion which excluded sentimentality and a sense of humour to cut through nonsense and make-believe.
Most marriages are imperfect, not made in heaven, because husbands and wives are imperfect even where their love is genuine and beautiful. But the institution of marriage is tough and durable and a sense of humour helps.
Most of those who are not married would prefer to be married. They know no other institution protects partners and children as well as marriage does.
All mainline Christians support marriage, heterosexual marriage, but marriage is not a Christian invention nor a uniquely Christian preserve.
Long before there were Christians the Jews defended marriage and family as did the best pagans in Greece and Rome.
About 350 years before Christ the greatest Greek philosopher Aristotle, the tutor of Alexander the Great, wrote that “the family is something that precedes and is more necessary than the state”. He was right.
Thinking people of every religion and no religion support marriage because it reflects human nature, the complementary and different natures of man and woman recognized in the Genesis accounts of creation and because it brings unequalled benefits.
By its nature marriage is directed towards creating and protecting the next generation. While adults have an important need for love and intimacy, marriage is also for children, biologically connected to their mother and father, who have created them in an act of love.
Marriage might be unfashionable in some quarters, but it has little to do with respectability as it connects the generations, produces better and healthier children and so increases the social capital of society. Children may seem optional for couples, but they are not optional for societies. This is one consequence of the special place in the Kingdom of God which Jesus gives to children. The Kingdom belongs to them.
High rates of divorce and high conflict marriages hurt children, being more likely to produce poor academic performance, dependence on welfare and adult psychological problems among them. This is a useful background to help us understand Our Lord’s tough teaching against divorce and remarriage. Especially in our day and age of high levels of divorce, many defacto partnerships and too many living together before marriage we have to hang on to this norm and ideal of life-long marriage. It continues to represent the best way forward.
A good society works to reduce the suffering of children and the rights and responsibilities of marriage are the best way to achieve this. We congratulate again all those who renewed their marriage vows today and pray that your lives will provide inspiration and encouragement for your families and all young people.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
